Blog 1 Posts

Oh, hello there. I see you've returned to my blog with your curiosity in tow. I'm sure you're bursting with questions. Lucky you! I happen to be bursting with answers. Also fluids. The human body is mostly fluid. You probably want answers, though. Pop a squat on Blue Ridge Axe Throwing's uncannily comfortable sofa, and I'll impart some tender tidbits of axe wisdom.

Take a look at your hands. I mean a really good, long look. Meditate a spell on your fingers. Some look like bratwursts stuck to a catcher's mitt, while others rock those delicate pianist's twigs. Don't be self-conscious, now. Just ask yourself if all gloves fit you alike.

If you wouldn't use a glove that didn't fit your hand, why would you pick an axe that doesn't fit either? Oh, yes. Your axe is your dance partner, baby. You both have to move together with the rhythm. If you want to tango, your axe can't be doing the cha-cha. Here's how you find your partner:

• The Weigh-In. Don't pick an axe that's too heavy for your hand. When you throw, the axe needs to be roughly perpendicular to your arm as it's released; to keep it in that position, your wrist has to be strong enough to counter the weight of the axe head pulling your grip forward and down. Give the axe in your hand a few practice swings, straight up and down. If your blade stays pointed away from you during the whole swing, you've got a keeper. If you can't stop the blade from traveling forward to point down at the floor, ditch it.
• Rotation Sensation. Rotation is key to axe throwing. A perfect throw matches the forward movement of the axe with its rotational speed, so that the blade has finished spinning 360 degrees the second it arrives at the board. Some of you may be calculus pros, and you folks can figure out the formulae for yourselves. For everyone else, just watch how your axe hits the board. If it keeps slamming into the target with the butt or the back of the head, odds are you should switch out the axe for now.
• The Places You'll Go. Hey, nobody likes a curvaceous route through the air more than I do, but you should be able to make your axe travel in a moderately straight line to the board. Go ahead, send your first few throws out into the wild blue yonder! Get it stuck in the rafters! Actually, don't do that, that's my Me-Time space and my collection of vintage "Friends" VHS tapes is somewhere on I-beam #4. The point is, you need enough force to plant the blade in the middle of the board, and not so much that you send the axe bouncing around the range like a stray bullet.
• Start At The Beginning. Did you shoot out of the womb writing essays and running Spartan races? Did anyone rag on you for not balancing your checkbook as a toddler? Give yourself a break. If you don't land your first throw, it doesn't mean you suck. It means you just started. No one expects you to read all this stuff and show up at the range throwing 8 bull's-eyes and 2 kill shots per match. Axe throwing is something you have to feel out as you go. Don't throw an axe once and quit, give it a chance. Take it out on a second date, meet its parents, stalk it on Facebook in the most friendly way possible. Maybe it's your diamond in the rough. And a coach will always be nearby to help.

Much like that burrito, I've given you a lot to digest. Take your time, ponder these points, stretch out on that sofa and sip the nectar of knowledge. You'll be the proud owner of a discerning axelete's eye in no time. Me, I'm going up to the rafters. Friends Episode 63 is calling and I don't know if I rewound the tape after last time.